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Friday, August 8, 2014

"I was thinking ...over thinking..."

It's been a while since I've aired out some thoughts...on here at least. So, here's some things God is doing in my life

There's been some "discussion" in our house lately about stress. Maybe it's because our pastor has been preaching on living between our load and our limits. Maybe it's because things are swiftly picking back up and we are on the go more than ever. Maybe it's because the Lord is revealing some things to me and molding me to make me more like Him....Okay, so I think it is all of the above. So, let's talk.

I am married to the most easy going guy on the planet. Things just don't phase him. This works out great most times because there's no anger, no moodiness. You get the idea. BUT, he is married to me. And, I don't always handle things the way he does. I think WAY too much and stress about WAY too much. And I'll be the first to admit it.

For instance,
I just got out of the shower and was replaying some thoughts from a 10 minute time span (don't judge me...i have two kids...who can take long showers anymore???)

Ok, so thoughts from the shower:
Did I turn the steamer off ?
I really shouldn't have turned the crock pot off so early, I'll turn it back on when I get out.
Man, I am really proud of myself for going through all those bills...
Will anyone notice that I ate one more biscuit? (confession, I ate another biscuit)
Praying for certain people God laid on my heart. (didn't wanna name them out of privacy)
Thinking about the text I would send one of our students when I got out.
What do I need to pack for my retreat today?
Speaking of, where's my bag?
So cool that Shop till you Drop is still on
Is Layton crying? No, he's not.

You get the point....

Jeff and I talked last night and I confessed to him that I would really, really LOVE to not worry about things and think about things the way I do. REALLY! I would love to just sit on the couch and enjoy every second of family time without thinking about everything else that needs to get done.

So, if I really REALLY want to live life that way, why can't I? Why do I worry and stress and then get upset because I am worried and stressed? The Lord wants us to live in freedom from stress and worry. Doesn't his word say "Therefore I tell you not to worry"? (Matthew 6) He also tells us to come to Him and he will give us REST! (Matthew 11:28) So, what does that mean Lord? Do I need to memorize more scripture? Do I need to pray more? HELP ME find REST!

I am reminded of the story of Mary and Martha. Poor Martha had such good intentions with her cleaning and cooking and using that gift of hospitality. (can you relate) We all want a clean home and to just feel productive. But Mary, sweet Mary, was just sitting. If I was Martha (which I am most days) here's what I would have said to sweet little Mary...."DO SOMETHING! GET UP!" I mean, didn't she know that Jesus was there?? Things needed to be perfect! But, Jesus said this.."Martha, Martha,"the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

Wow. "Mary chose what was better." Jesus was better.

I know that life still happens and things will still bombard our minds (especially if you are a girl) but, what if we just enjoy Jesus and enjoy life? That's what Mary did. She just enjoyed being with Him. It may mean slowing down. It may mean making a schedule to get the things done for the day and then just enjoying the blessings God has given you.<- I like this idea for my life. It may mean sacrificing something. (maybe it's sacrificing that OCD nature, that control, that extra hour of sleep (just to start your day off enjoying Jesus). Can you tell I am talking to myself??  Whew, Lord knows I am still learning. And He is still leading. So, I'll follow.   

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